:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(730x184:732x186)/women-arguing-082624-tout-4b051c5855234a26be4b16c7bf2f1661.jpg?ssl=1 "Women Wants Her Sister to Stop Talking About Her ‘Toxic’ Relationship")
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- A woman wrote on Reddit that she feels “selfish” for not wanting to hear about her sister’s “toxic relationship”
- The woman said she feels “triggered” about the issue after being in a toxic relationship of her own in the past
- She explained that she doesn’t see the point in trying to give her sister advice since she always ends up “going back” to her boyfriend
A woman is feeling “selfish” after telling her sister not to discuss her “toxic relationship” with her.
In a post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——” forum, the woman complained that her sister is in a toxic relationship with a man and often comes to her for emotional support and advice about her relationship troubles, which she never follows.
“My little sister, whom I do love a lot, has dated a guy who just completely mistreats her,” the woman wrote. “When he does, she cries to me about it and asks what she should do, and I tell her that it’s not right, she deserves a more loving pairing and she should leave him.”
The woman said that her sister usually agrees with her at first, but then “goes back” to her boyfriend. “When he hurts her again, she comes back to me, asking for advice,” she wrote.
The woman explained that she herself was previously in a toxic relationship “that lasted years” and therefore feels “triggered” by her sister coming to her for advice about hers.
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The Redditor eventually told her sister she “can’t be her support for these things,” and now she is “mad” at her over it and has stopped confiding in her about “anything.”
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“Whenever she comes to me for support, my heart breaks with hers. I can’t help feeling invested because I love her, [but] I’m starting to feel like my emotional labor is wasted because she chooses to go back to him,” she said.
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The woman asked readers if she was being “selfish” for not wanting to hear about her sister’s relationship struggles, to which the majority disagreed.
“You need to look after yourself first and foremost, and if it’s reminding you of your own trauma every time she does it, that’s not great,” one person responded. “Getting out of an abusive relationship is difficult, but there might be resources nearby for her.”
“I think you need to explain your thinking to her so she understands why you’re setting this boundary,” a second person advised. “Explain to her that you just want her to be happy and you can’t watch her continue to go back to this man who is clearly making her unhappy.”
“You are not the selfish one. She is asking you to be part of a continuing toxic relationship that is triggering for you. You cannot be an emotional cushion for someone who won’t take your advice,” a third user chimed in.
