Joanna Gaines, Chip Gaines’ Kids in College

Like many parents, Joanna Gaines is having a tough time watching her kids leave the nest.

While preparing to send her and Chip Gaines‘ oldest daughter Ella, 18, off to college for her freshman year and their oldest son Drake, 20, back for his third year, the Fixer Upper star detailed the emotional journey.

“My oldest son left for his third year of college while my oldest daughter packs for her first year across the country,” she wrote on Instagram Aug. 11 alongside a photo of moving boxes. “This season already feels like one big, breathless surrender. Lord, how do I hold them close while also letting go?”

And while Joanna isn’t yet an empty nester—also sharing kids Duke, 17, Emmie, 15, and Crew, 7, with her husband of 22 years—she shared that she is still struggling.

“They told me it would go by quicker than I think. That the days are slow but the years are fast. And darn it if they were right,” she wrote. “This beautiful gift of time has roared past us all just like I was told.”